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The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook), by Randy J. Paterson
Free Download The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook), by Randy J. Paterson
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Effective communication is a critical skill that influences your professional success, the stability of your family life, and your personal happiness. Your ability to communicate effectively is seriously hampered if you can't assert yourself constructively. If you've ever felt paralyzed by an imposing individual or strongly argued opposing point of view, you know that a lack of assertiveness can leave you feeling marginalized and powerless. The Assertiveness Workbook contains effective, cognitive behavioral techniques to help you become more assertive. Learn how to set and maintain personal boundaries without becoming inaccessible. Become more genuine and open in relationships without fearing attack. Defend yourself when you are criticized or asked to submit to unreasonable requests.This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit — an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.
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Product details
Series: A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook
Paperback: 200 pages
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (December 30, 2000)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1572242094
ISBN-13: 978-1572242098
Product Dimensions:
7 x 0.8 x 9.8 inches
Shipping Weight: 15.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
133 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#23,059 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I was looking for a good step by step guide on how to become more assertive. A lot of books on the topic talk about the psychology behind a lack of assertiveness, which is not helpful to those who understand the root of a lack of assertiveness but want to get to the next step of being more assertive. I was happy to see this book was the how-to book I was looking for. I liked this flow of this book. Most helpful is the chapter on the script to use (DESO) to confront someone. The earlier chapters lead up to this script by explaining and using examples of assertive vs aggressive, passive, and passive-aggressive behavior.
Randy J. Paterson has helped me so very much with this workbook. I suffered from people-pleasing and cowering around people who I thought were more important than me (because of a psychologically abusive parent and the other parent was also abused by them). I could never live up to anything with this parent and even my accomplishments were tarnished in their eyes. This workbook has helped me break free from the chains of abuse. I cannot believe it!! He is so insightful and provides practical solutions. I finally realized that I am in control of myself and that others are not in control of me. For me, that was a real breakthrough. Thank you so much for this book.
I love this book. I really related to a lot of the material in it. I have always struggled with standing up for myself and my ideas and this book, I think might help me. I'm not sure it's working to be honest but all of the advice seemed very practical and down to earth. I think if you do the exercises in the book, your ability to stand up for yourself and make your way through work and relationships will improve.
A helpful digestible book in easy English and a sense of humor packed but with an educational punch. This book has changed my life for the better.
I am a passive codependent and I am learning very successfully to become assertive as a result of doing the work in this workbook. The chapter entitled "Overcoming the Belief Barrier" quickly taught me how misinformed I was about what assertiveness is and is not. I saw my own past beliefs outlined in the "Beliefs That Support a Passive Role" exercise. I quickly learned how wrong my impressions and understandings were about what it means to be assertive. The "Reality Check" that Chapter 5 offers quickly suggested to me that I need to lay my victim role aside when the it stated the "Key Point: You are in charge of your behavior; others are in charge of their behavior." The "Reality Checklist" in that chapter was also very helpful. The "Strategies for Saying No," "Barriers to Saying No,""Assertiveness Scorecards," and scripting exercises in preparation for facing a confrontation where all very, very helpful to me in my quest to become assertive and to stop practicing my conflict-avoidant, passive codependent behaviors. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking to become more assertive. [...]
Great book for introverts. I wish I'd have read this in my 20's.....
I CANNOT recommend this book highly enough. Of course you actually have to do the work, but this book and it’s practical advice has made a real difference in my relationships.
It is my experience that few people have strong communication skills -- are capable of gracefully disagreeing, giving opinions, asserting boundaries, confronting people. Most of us either go along with others, try to pacify, avoid confrontation and never say "No," (the passive style) or we boss others around, intimidate them, and force them to give in to "our way" (the aggressive style). There is also the passive-aggressive style which attacks indirectly in order not to take responsibility -- by forgetting, having "accidents," being late, or being slow in responding to a request agreed to. AND sometimes, hopefully more and more, we use the assertive style. The essence of assertiveness is assuming responsibility for your own behavior and acknowledging your thoughts and preferences honestly while also respecting the feelings and opinions of others. Paterson notes that each of these styles is used by all of us at one time or another; and we each have a style we use most.The book is an excellent handbook which will increase your awareness of yourself and others in all interactions. Further, the author guides you step by step into increasing your flexibility of responses. First, Paterson has assessments for determining which of these four styles you use most. He also explores how we learn these behaviors and when it is appropriate to use each. Beginning with the easiest situations in your own life, you start practicing the assertive style. One of my favorite exercises was called: A Walk in Town. The idea is to practice overcoming passivity by the way you walk. You use a favorite actor or dancer as a model of confidence. The best guide for me was: let your chest enter the room first, not your nose. Although the subtitle of the book emphasizes overcoming passivity, this book is also for those who are overly aggressive. Aggressive persons might be less likely to perceive a problem, but overuse of the aggressive style usually indicates a fear of being out of control and tends to keep us distant from others. This book is a fine resource for personal relationships, for work situations, or conflict management. It is readable, workable, and fun.
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